[Kotori moves to catch him as well, one hand bracing against the table while the other catches his shoulder. One he seems stable enough, she lets out a soft sigh and moves back, but not before giving his shoulder a quick pat.]
[He can feel his face warm up with her that close. He's given up, by now, denying that he has feelings for Kotori. But there's so many reasons that it wouldn't work, and so many things that just are more important right now.]
Thank you.
Kotori, the thing is... Back home, my father- He's in trouble, and it's my fault. [He sighs, closing his eyes tight.] There was nothing I didn't do to try and save him. He's my dad, so even if I had to cross some lines or... Or do things I wouldn't normally do, I didn't care.
[Part of him wants to look and see how she's taking this information, but he can feel the tears starting to form, and moreover, he cannot bring himself to look her in the eye right now.]
[Oh. Her heart immediately jolts when he mentions his father in danger. Her relationship with both her parents has steadily improved since she went home, and she was able to tell him a little about it when she went to pick up the key. But seeing a flicker of hurt in his eyes, she'd been quick to change the subject.
She almost, ALMOST starts to say that it's alright, time flows differently and he might have a chance, but then he keeps talking... of crossing lines...
Yes, she's stunned silent, and yes her own eyes are starting to water. She is afraid, but mostly for HIM, and she can see how much this is tearing him up.]
Varian-kun...
[For a few seconds she's silent as she tries to think of WHAT to say, if any of the questions swirling in her mind won't make him shut her out.]
Maybe... do you... want to go somewhere more private?
[Even if the kitchen is empty at the moment, that could change with another Aspect or a native to the story walking in or just by.]
[He shakes his head with a slight whine. He knows if he stops for even a moment now, he'll lose his nerve.]
I-I was so sure that my actions were justified; that everyone else had been the ones who'd done wrong. But being here, being away from everything... [A shuddery inhale.] ...It's like I've been able to get back to who I am, and- [His voice breaks as he goes on.]
And I don't want to be that person! And... Even if I can't save Dad, maybe I can make the rest right! I-I have to try...!
[Honestly... yes, a little bit of her is scared by what he won't say outright, what he's implying, such a stark contrast from the warm, sweet, bright boy she's known here, or even the bitter shell he came back with, slowly melting away over time. She can't imagine what she'd do if her loved ones were in that kind of trouble. She's done a lot of BRAVE things, but... smashing her own moral compass?
But even more than the fear, there's just HEARTBREAK. Heartbreak for him and his loss and all that guilt that was twisting around inside him. Weeping herself, she moves to lightly rest one hand on his wrist while the other rests between his shoulder blades. Any tighter and it'd be a side hug, but she doesn't want to invade his space too quickly.]
I had no idea you were in that much pain... I'm so sorry.
[He opens his mouth to speak, to reassure her that she has nothing to be sorry for- But instead, he starts crying so hard he can't say a word. He turns to face her; hug her, his face pressed against her shoulder. It's- a while before he quiets down.
When he does, he looks up at her, and though his eyes are teary, red, and tired, there's an undeniable sense of purpose. They're the eyes of someone with a mission.]
[For a moment she's surprised when he pulls her into the embrace, but it only takes a second longer before she wraps her arms around him tightly. It feels odd, trying to be Varian's rock when she herself is starting to crumble, and... she thinks this might be the first time she's been the source of comfort in this situation. Shinobu back home is so strong and put together that she's never been upset enough to cry on Kotori, and here... well, she's always been the one to cry on others, even it's when she's worried about them a LOT more than the person in question. But here... she just holds him and sobs too, only calming down a hair quicker than him, but trying hard throughout to just project as much support as she can through the embrace, give him a safe place to break down when he's been carrying this weight alone for FAR too long.]
You did, believe me. [He doesn't have the words to explain it, but Kotori's friendship helped bring him back from the dark.] I'm so glad you were still here. And...
[A solemn nod. After everything he's explained, she knows he has to go home. Even if she'll miss him too, she can't even find it in her to be selfish and want him to stay.]
I hope you do too, and I really hope things go well for you and your father in your world. And... I hope you remember this place too, when you're there. [That he can carry a little bit of the healing he's found back to where he needs it.] Even if it's just as a really crazy dream.
[Okay yeah, she had to throw in that joke. A small attempt to brighten the mood again, and just a silent repeat of that wish they can meet again someday.]
[A soft laugh of her own as she finally, slowly pulls back from the hug, but not quite breaking it.]
Before you go, though... do you want to make a Linzer torte together? I was going to surprise you for your birthday, but...
[ Well, she knows how crazy the time differences between their worlds, the Index, and the stories can be. And just in case... well, just in case, one last cooking session would be nice.]
[He gives a chuckle at that, too, but it really means a lot to him. Not just that she was planning to make him a birthday treat, but that they can have this before he goes. A moment between them that's normal and... And sweet.]
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[Kotori moves to catch him as well, one hand bracing against the table while the other catches his shoulder. One he seems stable enough, she lets out a soft sigh and moves back, but not before giving his shoulder a quick pat.]
Phew, good.
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Thank you.
Kotori, the thing is... Back home, my father- He's in trouble, and it's my fault. [He sighs, closing his eyes tight.] There was nothing I didn't do to try and save him. He's my dad, so even if I had to cross some lines or... Or do things I wouldn't normally do, I didn't care.
[Part of him wants to look and see how she's taking this information, but he can feel the tears starting to form, and moreover, he cannot bring himself to look her in the eye right now.]
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She almost, ALMOST starts to say that it's alright, time flows differently and he might have a chance, but then he keeps talking... of crossing lines...
Yes, she's stunned silent, and yes her own eyes are starting to water. She is afraid, but mostly for HIM, and she can see how much this is tearing him up.]
Varian-kun...
[For a few seconds she's silent as she tries to think of WHAT to say, if any of the questions swirling in her mind won't make him shut her out.]
Maybe... do you... want to go somewhere more private?
[Even if the kitchen is empty at the moment, that could change with another Aspect or a native to the story walking in or just by.]
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I-I was so sure that my actions were justified; that everyone else had been the ones who'd done wrong. But being here, being away from everything... [A shuddery inhale.] ...It's like I've been able to get back to who I am, and- [His voice breaks as he goes on.]
And I don't want to be that person! And... Even if I can't save Dad, maybe I can make the rest right! I-I have to try...!
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[Honestly... yes, a little bit of her is scared by what he won't say outright, what he's implying, such a stark contrast from the warm, sweet, bright boy she's known here, or even the bitter shell he came back with, slowly melting away over time. She can't imagine what she'd do if her loved ones were in that kind of trouble. She's done a lot of BRAVE things, but... smashing her own moral compass?
But even more than the fear, there's just HEARTBREAK. Heartbreak for him and his loss and all that guilt that was twisting around inside him. Weeping herself, she moves to lightly rest one hand on his wrist while the other rests between his shoulder blades. Any tighter and it'd be a side hug, but she doesn't want to invade his space too quickly.]
I had no idea you were in that much pain... I'm so sorry.
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When he does, he looks up at her, and though his eyes are teary, red, and tired, there's an undeniable sense of purpose. They're the eyes of someone with a mission.]
You helped me figure it out. Thank you.
1/2
2/2
I don't think I did much, really, but... I'm glad I could help you. Thank you so much for trusting me.
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You did, believe me. [He doesn't have the words to explain it, but Kotori's friendship helped bring him back from the dark.] I'm so glad you were still here. And...
...I'm going to miss you so much.
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I'll miss you too. Do you think you'll come back?
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[Her support has him smiling a bit more easily.]
I have so much to do, and I don't know how long it'll take. I don't even know how I'm going to start doing what I need to make things right.
But if I can... I'd love to come back.
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I hope you do too, and I really hope things go well for you and your father in your world. And... I hope you remember this place too, when you're there. [That he can carry a little bit of the healing he's found back to where he needs it.] Even if it's just as a really crazy dream.
[Okay yeah, she had to throw in that joke. A small attempt to brighten the mood again, and just a silent repeat of that wish they can meet again someday.]
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Thank you for that. All of it.
I think... It would be really hard to forget everything that's happened here.
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Before you go, though... do you want to make a Linzer torte together? I was going to surprise you for your birthday, but...
[ Well, she knows how crazy the time differences between their worlds, the Index, and the stories can be. And just in case... well, just in case, one last cooking session would be nice.]
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Yes, please. I'd like that very much.