I was wondering if you might be able to try making something for me! There's this snack from my homeland that's impossible to get here, and I'm kinda really missing it.
I don't think you'll be able to get it exactly, and I don't even know how it's made, but I'm willing to experiment if you are!
[Read: Eat all the "mistakes." Gobo Fraggle-And-A-Half.]
[Hope she doesn't mind a- temporary -tunnel in a clear spot of her cellar, because that's how he's getting there. A knock on the underside of the hatch and everything, to announce his arrival.]
When the door opened he looked up with a bright smile, waving.]
Hey! Special delivery. [He giggled a bit at himself as he reached into one of his upper pockets and pulled out one of the clear sticks visibly poking out the top.] One Doozer stick.
Mm-hmm. Doozers build these massive constructions with 'em, Fraggles tear them down by eating them, and since they have room again to keep building, they do it all over again.
[He gestured "Go on" with both his hands. Break off a piece, Kotori.]
[That sounds... really really weird... She actually tilts her head at him, and at the stick as she gently lifts it and then snaps it. Hm... it's almost like a cross between rock sugar and a dried pasta noodle with the shape and snap.]
Huh. So Doozers are... people? In your world? And do they mind you eating their buildings?
Yep! Knee high to a Fraggle. And naw, they don't mind us eating their buildings at all! It's in a Doozer's nature to build and if Fraggles didn't eat their constructions, they wouldn't have room to do it anymore and they'd move on, or who knows what else. So they put them up to be enjoyed, and well we Fraggles certainly enjoy them.
[Still, she's glad that the Fraggles aren't playing Fragglezilla to a bunch of poor helpless creatures' cities. Welp, time to break off a smaller piece and put it in her mouth. How's it taste, Gobo?]
[HUH. Combined with that candy-noodle texture from earlier, that's... really weird.]
Oh wow, that tastes better than I thought!
[Said through a chew before she has enough presence of mind to swallow it.]
That's really good, but... other than radishes and maybe a few other veggies, I can't tell what the ingredients are. How the heck would they make these?
I mean... we can try, but... honestly, this might be above my skill level, especially if I don't know what all the ingredients are or what methods they use.
Hm... well first we need radish powder... And the easiest way to get THAT, I think, might be to bake some radishes until they're dry, then grind those with a mortar and pestle.
[A few hours after this disaster happened, Kotori is going to hear a strange tap tap tapping against one of the main windows of her pub restaurant. Should she investigate, she'll see a little brown hawk looking curiously inside.]
[Luckily for the birdy, Kotori's downstairs, trying to let go of the stress from earlier. Making sukiyaki-don from the pot, some Linzer cookies from scratch (thank goodness for a recipe that doesn't require anything sharper than cookie cutters and butter knives), maybe some reading from the library-- huh?
Kotori looks up a... ridiculously large bird in her window. ... Veeeery cautiously she'll approach the window, but not open it quite yet.]
[The hawk makes a soft chirrup sound as she tilts her head to look at Kotori before hopping closer. There seems to be a piece of paper tied to her leg.]
[Akari will let Kotori take the note without a fuss and then just watch her as she reads the message:]
My master was a dumbass, but he wants to make it up to you by letting you have a free punch to his stupid face.
[It's probably weird to imagine a hawk's voice saying these words, especially when the bird has its head tilted up in a rather cute angle.
But Kotori won't have to wonder long about the true writer of the message since a few seconds later Akari will chirp and look over to where Rokurou is half hiding half standing by the next building.]
Hey, it's not stupid. [He's straightened up and is looking at her with sincerity.] It's natural to have these kinds of feelings and not know what to do with them.
[She's still cowed and ashamed, but... a SLIVER of tension eases, enough to show she's trusting him to be vulnerable around.]
Maybe for one person, anyway. But thi-- [.... Yeah no, she's... going to move to close the door behind them. And sink to the floor.] It goes straight from natural to... to gross!
[She looks up in surprise at that. She hadn't expected a promise THAT grave.]
... Two of them are way too old for me. One is Shizuo-san, and... well... now I'm starting to crush on my teacher. But he's my teacher, and his wife died, and he has a five year old daughter and HE would never think of me that way! He shouldn't! I shouldn't but...!
[She tries to calm down her sniffling before it turns to full-on sobbing, but thinking of Shizuo... doesn't help, for once.]
A-and Shizuo-san... I don't know HOW he's not sick of me... I'm always asking him for help, and he's always putting himself in danger to keep me safe since I can't do anything... He almost DIED saving me in the last story...!
[And of course the one time someone DID offer to train her to fight, Della called her useless to her face, and Kotori blew up like the ungrateful brat she is. No wonder Della hasn't spoken to her since then.]
[Even he's aware at how sensitive the topic is, and when he takes something seriously—he means it. So he listens without any judgment—really it's not like he's in a place to judge given that he's a daemon and all.
He recognizes the name even if he's never really interacted with the man himself, and mulls over her dilemma. A few thoughts come to mind, but given how upset she is, just going full dialogue wouldn't be the best thing.
So he lowers himself down and places a hand on top of her head.]
Hey, it's okay. Everything you're feeling is natural—it's not weird at all.
Yep. You're going through a lot of things at once, and it's all new and overwhelming for you. Add on social expectations and it would be weirder if you didn't have some kind of breakdown.
So how about this—let's tackle things in smaller pieces. I can't promise you'll feel completely better, but it should at least help clear things a little more for you.
[Geez, what ISN'T bothering her the most... But... she actually takes the time to think about this... and after a few long minutes, she has an answer.]
I'm scared that... if I let them know, our relationship will change. They might feel awkward, or disgusted, and...
[Deep breath...]
And Roxas-kun... if he finds out he's not the only one I love that way, it'll break his heart...
[The quiet sobs start again.]
They're all so precious to me, I can't... I can't lose their friendship...
Now sitting cross-legged in front of her, he rubs his chin in thought.]
You say "love"...but are you sure you actually feel romantically towards all of them? It's sometimes tough to tell, but there is a fine line between finding someone attractive and just having a crush, and then thinking about someone you'd actually want to date.
[And he currently has a thought of who is slotting where, but he won't say anything just yet. She needs to work it out on her own first.]
[The question actually gives her time to think and calm her crying. Rokurou's dichotomy isn't really the one that fits her, but he is very right about analyzing her feelings deeper, which is something she hesitates to do at times.]
It's not like I've really crushed or fallen in love with anyone before them, but... Well... there's none of them I just find attractive. Like... all four of them... they're so different from each other, in their looks and their personalities. And how I feel... it's like... they all make me feel safe, and needed, and important... Like they really understand me, and want to support me. And I want them to feel the same way. Even more than my other friends... Is... that love?
It's love...but it could be a different type of love. Even among friends, how you feel towards them can be different compared to others. The closer of a bond you make with them, the deeper those feelings are.
[He then crosses his arms over his chest, thinking. There are a few ways they could try to address this, but...it's not easy, and he doesn't want to confuse her or make her start doubting her feelings.
...Wait a minute, there are four candidates??? He heard the two older ones: her teacher back home and Shizuo. Then she mentioned Roxas...who's the fourth!?]
[Hunk, buuuuut even though the feelings are still there, he's already turned her down. At least they're still friends. (Until he goes home to his world soon, haha...)]
Well, maybe, but... it's not like I feel the same way for you, or for Shinobu, and she's been my best friend for years.
[As for closeness... Well, Hunk is a great friend and they have a lot in common, but he's not interested, and her teacher is too old AND, thanks to Index time, she hasn't known him as long as the others. So that leaves...]
I guess... Roxas-kun and Shizuo-san... and Shizuo-san's still an adult, so...
[So that means Roxas wins, by process of elimination. If it weren't for the guilt, anyway.]
If I had to make a suggestion, I'd have to agree. Where I'm from, big age gaps aren't that uncommon so no one would bat an eye. But I think you'd feel more comfortable with someone closer to your age range.
So... [He taps his fingers against his arm a bit before letting out a breath.] Personally I'd say just follow your heart and don't think about the problems. Emotions aren't always rational and what you think isn't always the best.
But since this is bothering you a lot, I'll tell you should put the brakes on those feelings you have for Shizuo and keep the ones for Roxas open.
[A small dry laugh before his expression softens a bit.]
Fortunately, this isn't something you actually have to decide right away. But...I guess it does also depend on the other party. [He doesn't know Shizuo, so he can't really judge either way. But in general he knows it can be harder for the older party to accept feelings from a younger one if the gap is wide enough.]
[She nods, but... like she said before, she's way more concerned about Shizuo finding out and not wanting anything to do with her, rather than actually having her feelings reciprocated.
Still... she does relax quite a bit, resting more against her hugged knees.]
[Varian figures the kitchen will be the best place to track Kotori down in a moment of quiet and relative inactivity. He smiles to himself for a moment, in a bittersweet way, then clears his throat to announce his presence.]
[Yup, right now she's in the middle of wiping down the kitchens after near-constantly cooking for the feast in the castle. As fun as cooking these large meals is becoming, especially when she has help, it's also really nice to wind down and have a moment to herself as well.]
Oh, hi, Varian-kun! [It's good to see him, especially since it's been so busy and he's been a little quiet lately.] I was just cleaning up, but I can make something if you're hungry.
[Actually, it's good she's finally caught him, because she's been turning an idea in her head she could use some feedback and help with.]
[Her cheerfulness and kindness make one thing clear right away: This is going to be harder than he'd anticipated. He knows he's doing the right thing, though.]
No, that's okay! Don't worry about it, Kotori. I just... I wanted to talk to you about something. I can help you clean up, too...?
[Varian nods, and begins wiping down the table with intent focus. He's silent at first. How can he tell her what he needs to do without telling her what he'd done in the first place?]
So, uh... A lot happened after the first time I was here. I mean, back home.
[It makes sense. He was so different, especially on first returning.]
And yeah. I know, and it means a lot to me.
[He sighs and moves to pull himself up to sit on the table, too distracted to think about how they'd just been wiping it down. As a result, he slips and nearly falls before just managing to catch himself.]
[Kotori moves to catch him as well, one hand bracing against the table while the other catches his shoulder. One he seems stable enough, she lets out a soft sigh and moves back, but not before giving his shoulder a quick pat.]
[He can feel his face warm up with her that close. He's given up, by now, denying that he has feelings for Kotori. But there's so many reasons that it wouldn't work, and so many things that just are more important right now.]
Thank you.
Kotori, the thing is... Back home, my father- He's in trouble, and it's my fault. [He sighs, closing his eyes tight.] There was nothing I didn't do to try and save him. He's my dad, so even if I had to cross some lines or... Or do things I wouldn't normally do, I didn't care.
[Part of him wants to look and see how she's taking this information, but he can feel the tears starting to form, and moreover, he cannot bring himself to look her in the eye right now.]
[Oh. Her heart immediately jolts when he mentions his father in danger. Her relationship with both her parents has steadily improved since she went home, and she was able to tell him a little about it when she went to pick up the key. But seeing a flicker of hurt in his eyes, she'd been quick to change the subject.
She almost, ALMOST starts to say that it's alright, time flows differently and he might have a chance, but then he keeps talking... of crossing lines...
Yes, she's stunned silent, and yes her own eyes are starting to water. She is afraid, but mostly for HIM, and she can see how much this is tearing him up.]
Varian-kun...
[For a few seconds she's silent as she tries to think of WHAT to say, if any of the questions swirling in her mind won't make him shut her out.]
Maybe... do you... want to go somewhere more private?
[Even if the kitchen is empty at the moment, that could change with another Aspect or a native to the story walking in or just by.]
[He shakes his head with a slight whine. He knows if he stops for even a moment now, he'll lose his nerve.]
I-I was so sure that my actions were justified; that everyone else had been the ones who'd done wrong. But being here, being away from everything... [A shuddery inhale.] ...It's like I've been able to get back to who I am, and- [His voice breaks as he goes on.]
And I don't want to be that person! And... Even if I can't save Dad, maybe I can make the rest right! I-I have to try...!
[Honestly... yes, a little bit of her is scared by what he won't say outright, what he's implying, such a stark contrast from the warm, sweet, bright boy she's known here, or even the bitter shell he came back with, slowly melting away over time. She can't imagine what she'd do if her loved ones were in that kind of trouble. She's done a lot of BRAVE things, but... smashing her own moral compass?
But even more than the fear, there's just HEARTBREAK. Heartbreak for him and his loss and all that guilt that was twisting around inside him. Weeping herself, she moves to lightly rest one hand on his wrist while the other rests between his shoulder blades. Any tighter and it'd be a side hug, but she doesn't want to invade his space too quickly.]
I had no idea you were in that much pain... I'm so sorry.
[He opens his mouth to speak, to reassure her that she has nothing to be sorry for- But instead, he starts crying so hard he can't say a word. He turns to face her; hug her, his face pressed against her shoulder. It's- a while before he quiets down.
When he does, he looks up at her, and though his eyes are teary, red, and tired, there's an undeniable sense of purpose. They're the eyes of someone with a mission.]
[For a moment she's surprised when he pulls her into the embrace, but it only takes a second longer before she wraps her arms around him tightly. It feels odd, trying to be Varian's rock when she herself is starting to crumble, and... she thinks this might be the first time she's been the source of comfort in this situation. Shinobu back home is so strong and put together that she's never been upset enough to cry on Kotori, and here... well, she's always been the one to cry on others, even it's when she's worried about them a LOT more than the person in question. But here... she just holds him and sobs too, only calming down a hair quicker than him, but trying hard throughout to just project as much support as she can through the embrace, give him a safe place to break down when he's been carrying this weight alone for FAR too long.]
You did, believe me. [He doesn't have the words to explain it, but Kotori's friendship helped bring him back from the dark.] I'm so glad you were still here. And...
[A solemn nod. After everything he's explained, she knows he has to go home. Even if she'll miss him too, she can't even find it in her to be selfish and want him to stay.]
I hope you do too, and I really hope things go well for you and your father in your world. And... I hope you remember this place too, when you're there. [That he can carry a little bit of the healing he's found back to where he needs it.] Even if it's just as a really crazy dream.
[Okay yeah, she had to throw in that joke. A small attempt to brighten the mood again, and just a silent repeat of that wish they can meet again someday.]
[A soft laugh of her own as she finally, slowly pulls back from the hug, but not quite breaking it.]
Before you go, though... do you want to make a Linzer torte together? I was going to surprise you for your birthday, but...
[ Well, she knows how crazy the time differences between their worlds, the Index, and the stories can be. And just in case... well, just in case, one last cooking session would be nice.]
[He gives a chuckle at that, too, but it really means a lot to him. Not just that she was planning to make him a birthday treat, but that they can have this before he goes. A moment between them that's normal and... And sweet.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Hey, Kotori! You free? I've got a food question for you.
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I don't think you'll be able to get it exactly, and I don't even know how it's made, but I'm willing to experiment if you are!
[Read: Eat all the "mistakes." Gobo Fraggle-And-A-Half.]
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Huh. I see... Do you know what's in it, at least?
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....Radishes?
[Then another pause before]
Sorry, that's all I know that's in it. That, and that it's made made from powder. I've got a couple with me, if you want to check them out.
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Radish powder?
[Yeah, no, already this is way above her skill level.]
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Well... maybe seeing it in person might give me a clearer idea.
["The Doozer Stick Ragequit"]
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[Hope she doesn't mind a- temporary -tunnel in a clear spot of her cellar, because that's how he's getting there. A knock on the underside of the hatch and everything, to announce his arrival.]
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But Kotori is already waiting in the kitchen, so she hears the knock easily and comes over to open the door quickly.]
Hi, Gobo-kun!
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When the door opened he looked up with a bright smile, waving.]
Hey! Special delivery. [He giggled a bit at himself as he reached into one of his upper pockets and pulled out one of the clear sticks visibly poking out the top.] One Doozer stick.
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And then he pulls THAT out...]
A... Doozer... stick...?
[....... Okay no, what the heck IS this thing?]
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[He gestured "Go on" with both his hands. Break off a piece, Kotori.]
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Huh. So Doozers are... people? In your world? And do they mind you eating their buildings?
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[Still, she's glad that the Fraggles aren't playing Fragglezilla to a bunch of poor helpless creatures' cities. Welp, time to break off a smaller piece and put it in her mouth. How's it taste, Gobo?]
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[As for the taste of the Doozer stick, probably something similar to veggie straws, only with the spicy tang of raw red radishes.]
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Oh wow, that tastes better than I thought!
[Said through a chew before she has enough presence of mind to swallow it.]
That's really good, but... other than radishes and maybe a few other veggies, I can't tell what the ingredients are. How the heck would they make these?
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[He snickered a bit, before casting her a curious look.]
Think you can make something like 'em?
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I mean... we can try, but... honestly, this might be above my skill level, especially if I don't know what all the ingredients are or what methods they use.
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[Tail dipped for only a moment before he curled it back up, smiling brightly at her.]
Well, just give it your best try! And even if you don't manage them, I still appreciate you giving it a shot in the first place.
[Fraggles: too good for this sinful world]
Besides. [He snickered a bit.] I don't mind eating the experiments on the way, either.
[...And there's that, too.]
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That's VERY true. Okay, let's see... so we need to make something hard, translucent, and can be flavored with... radish powder.
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[He laughed; at least he's in good spirits about this.
For now.]no subject
[ action ]
pubrestaurant. Should she investigate, she'll see a little brown hawk looking curiously inside.]Birdy!
Kotori looks up a... ridiculously large bird in her window. ... Veeeery cautiously she'll approach the window, but not open it quite yet.]
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What is this, Empatheias?Kotori opens the window slowly and offers her hand to the birdy, like she would to a cat or dog.]Is... this for me?
[If Akari lets her, she'll reach down to gently untie the paper and hold it up to read.]
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My master was a dumbass, but he wants to make it up to you by letting you have a free punch to his stupid face.
[It's probably weird to imagine a hawk's voice saying these words, especially when the bird has its head tilted up in a rather cute angle.
But Kotori won't have to wonder long about the true writer of the message since a few seconds later Akari will chirp and look over to where Rokurou is half hiding half standing by the next building.]
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[Why would she... She'll follow Akari's gaze out the window to...]
Rokurou-san...?
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Hey, Kotori.
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You can come in, Rokurou-san. I'm not going to hit you.
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You sure? It's a pretty good offer that most wouldn't pass up.
[But he's walking over.]
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I'm sure.
[The last thing she needs is two mentors hating her... But she still moves from the window to open the door for him.]
I'm... really sorry for snapping at you earlier.
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At her apology, he just shakes his head.]
Nah, it's fine. I was teasing you and went too far, so if anything I'm the one who should apologize. [And he gives her a deep bow.]
1/2
Still, she's a bit startled at how deep the bow is, eyes widening and beginning to fluster.]
N-no wait, you don't--
2/2
It's not... like you were wrong. It's a really stupid problem to have. ... I'm...
[She's stupid...]
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Hey, it's not stupid. [He's straightened up and is looking at her with sincerity.] It's natural to have these kinds of feelings and not know what to do with them.
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Maybe for one person, anyway. But thi-- [.... Yeah no, she's... going to move to close the door behind them. And sink to the floor.] It goes straight from natural to... to gross!
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Because of having multiple crushes at once?
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And... [... Gulp.] You promise not to tell anyone about this? Ever?
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On my family's honor.
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... Two of them are way too old for me. One is Shizuo-san, and... well... now I'm starting to crush on my teacher. But he's my teacher, and his wife died, and he has a five year old daughter and HE would never think of me that way! He shouldn't! I shouldn't but...!
[She tries to calm down her sniffling before it turns to full-on sobbing, but thinking of Shizuo... doesn't help, for once.]
A-and Shizuo-san... I don't know HOW he's not sick of me... I'm always asking him for help, and he's always putting himself in danger to keep me safe since I can't do anything... He almost DIED saving me in the last story...!
[And of course the one time someone DID offer to train her to fight, Della called her useless to her face, and Kotori blew up like the ungrateful brat she is. No wonder Della hasn't spoken to her since then.]
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He recognizes the name even if he's never really interacted with the man himself, and mulls over her dilemma. A few thoughts come to mind, but given how upset she is, just going full dialogue wouldn't be the best thing.
So he lowers himself down and places a hand on top of her head.]
Hey, it's okay. Everything you're feeling is natural—it's not weird at all.
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Is it...?
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So how about this—let's tackle things in smaller pieces. I can't promise you'll feel completely better, but it should at least help clear things a little more for you.
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Where do I even start...?
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I'm scared that... if I let them know, our relationship will change. They might feel awkward, or disgusted, and...
[Deep breath...]
And Roxas-kun... if he finds out he's not the only one I love that way, it'll break his heart...
[The quiet sobs start again.]
They're all so precious to me, I can't... I can't lose their friendship...
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Now sitting cross-legged in front of her, he rubs his chin in thought.]
You say "love"...but are you sure you actually feel romantically towards all of them? It's sometimes tough to tell, but there is a fine line between finding someone attractive and just having a crush, and then thinking about someone you'd actually want to date.
[And he currently has a thought of who is slotting where, but he won't say anything just yet. She needs to work it out on her own first.]
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[The question actually gives her time to think and calm her crying. Rokurou's dichotomy isn't really the one that fits her, but he is very right about analyzing her feelings deeper, which is something she hesitates to do at times.]
It's not like I've really crushed or fallen in love with anyone before them, but... Well... there's none of them I just find attractive. Like... all four of them... they're so different from each other, in their looks and their personalities. And how I feel... it's like... they all make me feel safe, and needed, and important... Like they really understand me, and want to support me. And I want them to feel the same way. Even more than my other friends... Is... that love?
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[He then crosses his arms over his chest, thinking. There are a few ways they could try to address this, but...it's not easy, and he doesn't want to confuse her or make her start doubting her feelings.
...Wait a minute, there are four candidates??? He heard the two older ones: her teacher back home and Shizuo. Then she mentioned Roxas...who's the fourth!?]
Do you feel closer to any particular one of them?
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Well, maybe, but... it's not like I feel the same way for you, or for Shinobu, and she's been my best friend for years.
[As for closeness... Well, Hunk is a great friend and they have a lot in common, but he's not interested, and her teacher is too old AND, thanks to Index time, she hasn't known him as long as the others. So that leaves...]
I guess... Roxas-kun and Shizuo-san... and Shizuo-san's still an adult, so...
[So that means Roxas wins, by process of elimination. If it weren't for the guilt, anyway.]
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So... [He taps his fingers against his arm a bit before letting out a breath.] Personally I'd say just follow your heart and don't think about the problems. Emotions aren't always rational and what you think isn't always the best.
But since this is bothering you a lot, I'll tell you should put the brakes on those feelings you have for Shizuo and keep the ones for Roxas open.
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Trust me, I've been trying...
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[A small dry laugh before his expression softens a bit.]
Fortunately, this isn't something you actually have to decide right away. But...I guess it does also depend on the other party. [He doesn't know Shizuo, so he can't really judge either way. But in general he knows it can be harder for the older party to accept feelings from a younger one if the gap is wide enough.]
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Still... she does relax quite a bit, resting more against her hugged knees.]
Thank you, Rokurou-san...
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Looks like you're feeling a little better—but you still have a lot still weighing on your mind, right? Need a break or should we continue?
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I think... a break would be nice, if that's okay.
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Yeah, I thought you'd need one. How about we make something? Could should you one of my own special snacks.
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Really?
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Thought I'd find you here.
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Oh, hi, Varian-kun! [It's good to see him, especially since it's been so busy and he's been a little quiet lately.] I was just cleaning up, but I can make something if you're hungry.
[Actually, it's good she's finally caught him, because she's been turning an idea in her head she could use some feedback and help with.]
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No, that's okay! Don't worry about it, Kotori. I just... I wanted to talk to you about something. I can help you clean up, too...?
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[He's always so helpful, it's sweet~ She hands him a dish cloth so they can wipe down the main table in the center of the kitchen together.]
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So, uh... A lot happened after the first time I was here. I mean, back home.
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I... didn't want to say anything, since we didn't know each other well at the time, but... I could tell.
[She is glad that his second time here's given him some healing, even if she doesn't know from WHAT yet.]
But um... like I said before, you can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?
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[It makes sense. He was so different, especially on first returning.]
And yeah. I know, and it means a lot to me.
[He sighs and moves to pull himself up to sit on the table, too distracted to think about how they'd just been wiping it down. As a result, he slips and nearly falls before just managing to catch himself.]
...I'm okay.
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[Kotori moves to catch him as well, one hand bracing against the table while the other catches his shoulder. One he seems stable enough, she lets out a soft sigh and moves back, but not before giving his shoulder a quick pat.]
Phew, good.
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Thank you.
Kotori, the thing is... Back home, my father- He's in trouble, and it's my fault. [He sighs, closing his eyes tight.] There was nothing I didn't do to try and save him. He's my dad, so even if I had to cross some lines or... Or do things I wouldn't normally do, I didn't care.
[Part of him wants to look and see how she's taking this information, but he can feel the tears starting to form, and moreover, he cannot bring himself to look her in the eye right now.]
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She almost, ALMOST starts to say that it's alright, time flows differently and he might have a chance, but then he keeps talking... of crossing lines...
Yes, she's stunned silent, and yes her own eyes are starting to water. She is afraid, but mostly for HIM, and she can see how much this is tearing him up.]
Varian-kun...
[For a few seconds she's silent as she tries to think of WHAT to say, if any of the questions swirling in her mind won't make him shut her out.]
Maybe... do you... want to go somewhere more private?
[Even if the kitchen is empty at the moment, that could change with another Aspect or a native to the story walking in or just by.]
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I-I was so sure that my actions were justified; that everyone else had been the ones who'd done wrong. But being here, being away from everything... [A shuddery inhale.] ...It's like I've been able to get back to who I am, and- [His voice breaks as he goes on.]
And I don't want to be that person! And... Even if I can't save Dad, maybe I can make the rest right! I-I have to try...!
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[Honestly... yes, a little bit of her is scared by what he won't say outright, what he's implying, such a stark contrast from the warm, sweet, bright boy she's known here, or even the bitter shell he came back with, slowly melting away over time. She can't imagine what she'd do if her loved ones were in that kind of trouble. She's done a lot of BRAVE things, but... smashing her own moral compass?
But even more than the fear, there's just HEARTBREAK. Heartbreak for him and his loss and all that guilt that was twisting around inside him. Weeping herself, she moves to lightly rest one hand on his wrist while the other rests between his shoulder blades. Any tighter and it'd be a side hug, but she doesn't want to invade his space too quickly.]
I had no idea you were in that much pain... I'm so sorry.
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When he does, he looks up at her, and though his eyes are teary, red, and tired, there's an undeniable sense of purpose. They're the eyes of someone with a mission.]
You helped me figure it out. Thank you.
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I don't think I did much, really, but... I'm glad I could help you. Thank you so much for trusting me.
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You did, believe me. [He doesn't have the words to explain it, but Kotori's friendship helped bring him back from the dark.] I'm so glad you were still here. And...
...I'm going to miss you so much.
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I'll miss you too. Do you think you'll come back?
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[Her support has him smiling a bit more easily.]
I have so much to do, and I don't know how long it'll take. I don't even know how I'm going to start doing what I need to make things right.
But if I can... I'd love to come back.
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I hope you do too, and I really hope things go well for you and your father in your world. And... I hope you remember this place too, when you're there. [That he can carry a little bit of the healing he's found back to where he needs it.] Even if it's just as a really crazy dream.
[Okay yeah, she had to throw in that joke. A small attempt to brighten the mood again, and just a silent repeat of that wish they can meet again someday.]
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Thank you for that. All of it.
I think... It would be really hard to forget everything that's happened here.
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Before you go, though... do you want to make a Linzer torte together? I was going to surprise you for your birthday, but...
[ Well, she knows how crazy the time differences between their worlds, the Index, and the stories can be. And just in case... well, just in case, one last cooking session would be nice.]
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Yes, please. I'd like that very much.