Hey, it's not stupid. [He's straightened up and is looking at her with sincerity.] It's natural to have these kinds of feelings and not know what to do with them.
[She's still cowed and ashamed, but... a SLIVER of tension eases, enough to show she's trusting him to be vulnerable around.]
Maybe for one person, anyway. But thi-- [.... Yeah no, she's... going to move to close the door behind them. And sink to the floor.] It goes straight from natural to... to gross!
[She looks up in surprise at that. She hadn't expected a promise THAT grave.]
... Two of them are way too old for me. One is Shizuo-san, and... well... now I'm starting to crush on my teacher. But he's my teacher, and his wife died, and he has a five year old daughter and HE would never think of me that way! He shouldn't! I shouldn't but...!
[She tries to calm down her sniffling before it turns to full-on sobbing, but thinking of Shizuo... doesn't help, for once.]
A-and Shizuo-san... I don't know HOW he's not sick of me... I'm always asking him for help, and he's always putting himself in danger to keep me safe since I can't do anything... He almost DIED saving me in the last story...!
[And of course the one time someone DID offer to train her to fight, Della called her useless to her face, and Kotori blew up like the ungrateful brat she is. No wonder Della hasn't spoken to her since then.]
[Even he's aware at how sensitive the topic is, and when he takes something seriously—he means it. So he listens without any judgment—really it's not like he's in a place to judge given that he's a daemon and all.
He recognizes the name even if he's never really interacted with the man himself, and mulls over her dilemma. A few thoughts come to mind, but given how upset she is, just going full dialogue wouldn't be the best thing.
So he lowers himself down and places a hand on top of her head.]
Hey, it's okay. Everything you're feeling is natural—it's not weird at all.
Yep. You're going through a lot of things at once, and it's all new and overwhelming for you. Add on social expectations and it would be weirder if you didn't have some kind of breakdown.
So how about this—let's tackle things in smaller pieces. I can't promise you'll feel completely better, but it should at least help clear things a little more for you.
[Geez, what ISN'T bothering her the most... But... she actually takes the time to think about this... and after a few long minutes, she has an answer.]
I'm scared that... if I let them know, our relationship will change. They might feel awkward, or disgusted, and...
[Deep breath...]
And Roxas-kun... if he finds out he's not the only one I love that way, it'll break his heart...
[The quiet sobs start again.]
They're all so precious to me, I can't... I can't lose their friendship...
Now sitting cross-legged in front of her, he rubs his chin in thought.]
You say "love"...but are you sure you actually feel romantically towards all of them? It's sometimes tough to tell, but there is a fine line between finding someone attractive and just having a crush, and then thinking about someone you'd actually want to date.
[And he currently has a thought of who is slotting where, but he won't say anything just yet. She needs to work it out on her own first.]
[The question actually gives her time to think and calm her crying. Rokurou's dichotomy isn't really the one that fits her, but he is very right about analyzing her feelings deeper, which is something she hesitates to do at times.]
It's not like I've really crushed or fallen in love with anyone before them, but... Well... there's none of them I just find attractive. Like... all four of them... they're so different from each other, in their looks and their personalities. And how I feel... it's like... they all make me feel safe, and needed, and important... Like they really understand me, and want to support me. And I want them to feel the same way. Even more than my other friends... Is... that love?
It's love...but it could be a different type of love. Even among friends, how you feel towards them can be different compared to others. The closer of a bond you make with them, the deeper those feelings are.
[He then crosses his arms over his chest, thinking. There are a few ways they could try to address this, but...it's not easy, and he doesn't want to confuse her or make her start doubting her feelings.
...Wait a minute, there are four candidates??? He heard the two older ones: her teacher back home and Shizuo. Then she mentioned Roxas...who's the fourth!?]
[Hunk, buuuuut even though the feelings are still there, he's already turned her down. At least they're still friends. (Until he goes home to his world soon, haha...)]
Well, maybe, but... it's not like I feel the same way for you, or for Shinobu, and she's been my best friend for years.
[As for closeness... Well, Hunk is a great friend and they have a lot in common, but he's not interested, and her teacher is too old AND, thanks to Index time, she hasn't known him as long as the others. So that leaves...]
I guess... Roxas-kun and Shizuo-san... and Shizuo-san's still an adult, so...
[So that means Roxas wins, by process of elimination. If it weren't for the guilt, anyway.]
If I had to make a suggestion, I'd have to agree. Where I'm from, big age gaps aren't that uncommon so no one would bat an eye. But I think you'd feel more comfortable with someone closer to your age range.
So... [He taps his fingers against his arm a bit before letting out a breath.] Personally I'd say just follow your heart and don't think about the problems. Emotions aren't always rational and what you think isn't always the best.
But since this is bothering you a lot, I'll tell you should put the brakes on those feelings you have for Shizuo and keep the ones for Roxas open.
[A small dry laugh before his expression softens a bit.]
Fortunately, this isn't something you actually have to decide right away. But...I guess it does also depend on the other party. [He doesn't know Shizuo, so he can't really judge either way. But in general he knows it can be harder for the older party to accept feelings from a younger one if the gap is wide enough.]
[She nods, but... like she said before, she's way more concerned about Shizuo finding out and not wanting anything to do with her, rather than actually having her feelings reciprocated.
Still... she does relax quite a bit, resting more against her hugged knees.]
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2/2
It's not... like you were wrong. It's a really stupid problem to have. ... I'm...
[She's stupid...]
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Hey, it's not stupid. [He's straightened up and is looking at her with sincerity.] It's natural to have these kinds of feelings and not know what to do with them.
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Maybe for one person, anyway. But thi-- [.... Yeah no, she's... going to move to close the door behind them. And sink to the floor.] It goes straight from natural to... to gross!
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Because of having multiple crushes at once?
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And... [... Gulp.] You promise not to tell anyone about this? Ever?
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On my family's honor.
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... Two of them are way too old for me. One is Shizuo-san, and... well... now I'm starting to crush on my teacher. But he's my teacher, and his wife died, and he has a five year old daughter and HE would never think of me that way! He shouldn't! I shouldn't but...!
[She tries to calm down her sniffling before it turns to full-on sobbing, but thinking of Shizuo... doesn't help, for once.]
A-and Shizuo-san... I don't know HOW he's not sick of me... I'm always asking him for help, and he's always putting himself in danger to keep me safe since I can't do anything... He almost DIED saving me in the last story...!
[And of course the one time someone DID offer to train her to fight, Della called her useless to her face, and Kotori blew up like the ungrateful brat she is. No wonder Della hasn't spoken to her since then.]
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He recognizes the name even if he's never really interacted with the man himself, and mulls over her dilemma. A few thoughts come to mind, but given how upset she is, just going full dialogue wouldn't be the best thing.
So he lowers himself down and places a hand on top of her head.]
Hey, it's okay. Everything you're feeling is natural—it's not weird at all.
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Is it...?
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So how about this—let's tackle things in smaller pieces. I can't promise you'll feel completely better, but it should at least help clear things a little more for you.
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Where do I even start...?
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I'm scared that... if I let them know, our relationship will change. They might feel awkward, or disgusted, and...
[Deep breath...]
And Roxas-kun... if he finds out he's not the only one I love that way, it'll break his heart...
[The quiet sobs start again.]
They're all so precious to me, I can't... I can't lose their friendship...
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Now sitting cross-legged in front of her, he rubs his chin in thought.]
You say "love"...but are you sure you actually feel romantically towards all of them? It's sometimes tough to tell, but there is a fine line between finding someone attractive and just having a crush, and then thinking about someone you'd actually want to date.
[And he currently has a thought of who is slotting where, but he won't say anything just yet. She needs to work it out on her own first.]
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[The question actually gives her time to think and calm her crying. Rokurou's dichotomy isn't really the one that fits her, but he is very right about analyzing her feelings deeper, which is something she hesitates to do at times.]
It's not like I've really crushed or fallen in love with anyone before them, but... Well... there's none of them I just find attractive. Like... all four of them... they're so different from each other, in their looks and their personalities. And how I feel... it's like... they all make me feel safe, and needed, and important... Like they really understand me, and want to support me. And I want them to feel the same way. Even more than my other friends... Is... that love?
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[He then crosses his arms over his chest, thinking. There are a few ways they could try to address this, but...it's not easy, and he doesn't want to confuse her or make her start doubting her feelings.
...Wait a minute, there are four candidates??? He heard the two older ones: her teacher back home and Shizuo. Then she mentioned Roxas...who's the fourth!?]
Do you feel closer to any particular one of them?
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Well, maybe, but... it's not like I feel the same way for you, or for Shinobu, and she's been my best friend for years.
[As for closeness... Well, Hunk is a great friend and they have a lot in common, but he's not interested, and her teacher is too old AND, thanks to Index time, she hasn't known him as long as the others. So that leaves...]
I guess... Roxas-kun and Shizuo-san... and Shizuo-san's still an adult, so...
[So that means Roxas wins, by process of elimination. If it weren't for the guilt, anyway.]
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So... [He taps his fingers against his arm a bit before letting out a breath.] Personally I'd say just follow your heart and don't think about the problems. Emotions aren't always rational and what you think isn't always the best.
But since this is bothering you a lot, I'll tell you should put the brakes on those feelings you have for Shizuo and keep the ones for Roxas open.
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Trust me, I've been trying...
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[A small dry laugh before his expression softens a bit.]
Fortunately, this isn't something you actually have to decide right away. But...I guess it does also depend on the other party. [He doesn't know Shizuo, so he can't really judge either way. But in general he knows it can be harder for the older party to accept feelings from a younger one if the gap is wide enough.]
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Still... she does relax quite a bit, resting more against her hugged knees.]
Thank you, Rokurou-san...
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Looks like you're feeling a little better—but you still have a lot still weighing on your mind, right? Need a break or should we continue?
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I think... a break would be nice, if that's okay.
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Yeah, I thought you'd need one. How about we make something? Could should you one of my own special snacks.
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Really?
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